This week’s agenda: Working towards the endgame with Venus and Saturn in sextile
The problem with rom-coms, as fun as they are to watch, is that they end right at the crucial part of the story. Boy and girl (or boy and boy or girl and girl) meet, boy and girl feel a spark, shenanigans happen, and boy and girl get together in the end. But that’s never really the end, is it?
There’s a lot left to be desired with the way pop culture depicts(a.k.a. teaches us about) love. More often than not, films and TV shows present only the fun parts of a relationship, which are the exciting beginning and the heartwarming, inspiring denouement. Rarely do the gritty parts of the work that goes into nurturing a connection and keeping it healthy for the benefit of both sides get shown, as well as the more boring, quotidian parts of a relationship (like budgeting and negotiating on who does the dishes and takes out the trash). Love is always shown as peaks and valleys, with the highs always trumping the lows.
We’re familiar with the meet-cute; it’s often always the selling point of a romcom. As for the happily ever afters—the long-married couples—they’re usually in the form of background characters, played by the likes of Boots Anson-Roa and an equally benign senior actor, doling out love advice from their secure, cozy nook of contentment. But it’s the middle part that’s the longest and also the most important, because that’s where the real stuff happens.
In her latest novel Unsheltered, Barbara Kingsolver writes about the (often invisible) work that goes into a successful marriage: “It’s like a marathon. You see the runners crossing the finish line with sweaty faces and all that ecstasy. Everybody wants some of that. But do you really think if you jump up and cross the finish line at the last minute, you’ll get it? …Those runners are high on the whole day they just put in, and the years of training before that.” Spoken by one of the book’s main characters, Kingsolver is specifically referring to how young women might get attracted to older married men and the consistency and maturity they symbolize, but the “you” could also refer to anyone who dreams of finding that one true love while the marathon is the frequent portrayal of a successful relationship in media. And because the training is hardly ever done in public, the audience misses out a lot on the most crucial aspect of love: That it calls for constant, consistent, and dedicated work, even when the relationship is at an unexciting plateau.
The upcoming sextile or harmonious 60-degree angle between Saturn in Capricorn and Venus in Scorpio dovetails in nicely to that idea of putting in the unglamorous work into our relationships. Happening on December 16, the sextile between the two planets signify a supportive alignment between what/whom we value and what/who makes us happy (Venus) and how hard are we working for them (Saturn). We’ve talked about how Venus in Scorpio is about going beneath the surface, and how Saturn in Capricorn is about working hard now and playing later. This transit doesn’t have the flashy, gaudy appeal of a public proposal or the sexiness of a Tinder hookup. Or, outside of romantic relationships, it’s not about the ‘Gram-friendly squad photos and treacly captions of how much you appreciate the people in your life. Not to say that social media posts cannot be meaningful, but this transit is about the more serious, mature,and quiet side of commitment—in the flow of putting in the work.
This isn’t the first time that this transit has happened this year. Before it went on retrograde, Venus was in Scorpio on September 13, where it had formed a sextile with Saturn. With the retrograde, though, things got a little off-track, with Venus going back to Libra and forming a tense square (90-degree angle) with the ringed planet. This upcoming sextile might be a harbinger of better things, as astrologist Nadia Gilchrist puts it in her Ruby Slipper Astrology website:
“December 16th delivers a harmonious sextile between Saturn in Capricorn and Venus in Scorpio. This influence is so quiet that it might slip past you, but it can be a valuable opportunity to see some rewards for your hard work. Here is the small but significant relationship or financial commitment—a confirmation of what you want that may not be flashy, but it will mean something. Venus in Scorpio has depth and staying power while Saturn adds stability.”
Now before we all start imagining that we’ll be getting committed to someone come December 16, here’s the thing: The sextile could simply mean finding the wherewithal to keep on keeping on, of finding affirmation that we’re on the right path. That sounds highly unromantic, yes, but it is commitment. It’s about not dropping off halfway through the marathon after all the prep and the running you’ve already done; it’s about keeping your focus on the endgame by doing what you need to do now.
Header image: American Gothic by Grant Wood
